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” That’s code for “let’s boink.” Always pick something simple where you can order a couple of drinks. Try to keep it within 15 minutes of your house though. If you do get close to sealing the deal on the first date, a 20 minute cab ride can give her too much time to reflect on the bad choice she’s about to make.  Short answer, yes. I’ve used mathematics to find an average response and success rate for intercourse. Out of the 20 messages per day that you send, between 1 and 5 of those will get responses. Every 5 responses ends in a date. Every third date eventually leads to the goods. At a worst case scenario, you will be placing your penis inside 1.5 vaginas per month. If you end up juggling more than that, don’t feel guilty. These young ladies are more than likely multitasking between 2 or more boner insertions while dating you. Just remember to glove up, and share your success stories with us.

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As a working man in the 21st century, getting laid can be a serious task. When you’re done with an 8 hour shift, the last thing you want to do is compete against a bunch of other dudes to take home the local bar sluts. You’ll end up spending money you don’t have on a “roll of the dice” when you could be at home playing Battlefield.

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